Back to Basics: Where to Shop for Curves that Pop!

Oooh, where does she shop though? Happy Friday Fashionistas! On this special Friday I want to share something special for all my women size 14+. Whether you go by "curvy", "full figured", "plus sized", "thick", "rubenesque" or some other even more obscure moniker, what we all have in common is a certain set of unique shopping challenges.

via http://fatgirlvintagestyle.tumblr.com/

Honestly, if you wear any specialty size (including petite for the small packages out there) the fashion retailers are not really there for you. (A visit to any mall anywhere will confirm this.) By special request, we here at TGL want to address where a woman wearing larger sizes can go to find wonderful fashion. Why? Because we love our followers, and we love to see gathered ladies of all sizes express themselves and be free to rock! (Not to mention, there's a special place in my heart for my thick sisters- we are one, ya'll!) 

Rule #1: There are A LOT of options for plus size shoppers, you've just got to train your eye. 

It's less about there being no options, than about learning to ignore the junk and zero in on what you're looking for. There are plenty of brick and mortar stores out there that have been selling plus size for decades:

• Department stores (Macy's, Nordstrom, Dillard's, etc.)
• Plus Size Chains (Lane Bryant, Ashley Stewart, Torrid, Forever 21, Dress Barn, Cache, etc)
• Discount outlets (TJ Maxx, Marshall's, Ross <-- DO NOT DISCOUNT THESE BARGAIN SHOPPERS!!!)
• Specialty boutiques (There is a huge searchable database of plus size boutiques located on the curvy fashionista website, here.) 
• Consignment Shops and Thrift Stores (Buffalo Exchange, Good Will, etc.)

My point here is, don't discount these stores! There are a lot of wonderful fashion pieces to be found in these places, but the kinds of shoppers who do best in this arena have to be willing:

• To visit these stores regularly.
• To ignore all the items in the wrong sizes and zero in on the size you wear. Sometimes this means actively digging around, hunting, and going through racks and racks of "skinny" clothes. Can be depressing because you often come up empty handed or with only a few things.  
• To try on items in the store. 
• Visit a lot of stores and spend time out and about. This means driving around, burning gas, etc. 
• To develop a good sense of style and an "eye" for putting together outfits. Often when you shop in these stores you find literally one piece at a time. You have to use your own creativity and imagination to actually know whether what you are looking at will fit with your wardrobe and look good with things that you already own. Less mannequins to lead the way! If you don't have a sharp sense of what you are looking for, this can be frustrating or intimidating. 

Which is why I'm not going to focus on those stores. I want to point the way to a easier, more fun way of shopping. A way that is so integrated into the things that you already spend time on, that you can't fail to make a go of it. It is also (in my opinion) consistently cheaper than visiting brick and mortar stores. Yes, I am talking about THE INTERNETS! 

Rule #2: Girls with curves cannot afford to omit online shopping from their arsenal of fashion acquisition! It is an essential element to a complete wardrobe. 

The best thing about online shopping is that it eliminates much of the work of the brick and mortar stores. Also it allows you to self-select the clothes you see, and visit more stores sitting at your desk with a latte and fuzzy slippers on than you could ever do charging around a mall or zipping all around town visiting boutiques. So often, when you are out shopping and looking for something in particular, you are at the mercy of what store's buyer has chosen to stock that store in. Looking for a black pencil skirt, size 18? Well, if Lane Bryant's buyer isn't putting out business separates that season, or if she only decided to stock the store with 2 skirts and you're the 3rd customer, you're out of luck. Online shopping eliminates all those issues. Yay! 

Have I convinced you yet? Are you asking where where where? Great, now I can point you in the right direction.. 

I don't really have a reason for including this photo. She's just hot and I want you to be super stoked about shopping online.

 Rule #3: Every woman should be acquainted with Marie Denee, The Curvy Fashionista, top blogger and plus size maven of style. She is your guide to learning the world of plus size fashion, designers, bloggers, and shopping. 

Marie's blog is my everything. It would be ridiculously unfair of me if I didn't give you a huge shove in her direction. Her blog is a nexus of the plus size fashion world, and an empowering place to visit. In fact, she's written an awesome primer of her own about skilled shopping for curvies, and I'm linking it here and check out this top ten list here. I'd be remiss not to include them! 

As for the websites that I, Danni of The Gathered Lady can personally vouch for (I bought stuff), here goes: 

• One Stop Plus - one stop fashion mall stocked with only 14+. Great sales. Includes lingerie and swimwear.
• Macy's - self-explanatory. Has a dedicated plus size section. Great sales. 
• Monif C. - best swimsuits in the business. Originator of the convertible dress. Amazing cocktail dresses. 
• Asos - british fashion outlet gone big in the US! Excellent fashion forward outfits. 
• Kiyonna - their cocktail dresses and evening wear are tops. 
• Simply Be - let me just say you gotta love those Brits. You're plus sized? Keep calm and carry on. To Simple Be. 
• Carma Koma - Love sophistcated black, leaether, and grey palettes? This danish fashion retailer is for you! 
• Igigi -  Igigi is an OG in plus size fashion known for their amazing (and expensive) gowns and formal wear. This sight is more a lookey-lou and a thrill than a regular visit. 
• Voluptuous Vixen  - this is my favorite boutique in New Orleans, but wouldn't you know, they have online shopping? Now you can be down.
• Jibri - Jibri is actually an etsy store, but the clothes are so HOT that it is fast becoming a fashion-forward establishment! Don't miss out! 

Well, what did I miss? Send in your suggestions on facebook or in the comments section below, and we'll add them! 

Back to Basics, Pt. 2: Gathered Bras

Happy Friday girls! We’re back with part two of back to basics series and we’re going to talk to about.. well, your girls. It’s bra talk fashionistas, and it’s a key foundational element to a gathered look. There is pretty much nothing more ruinous to a cute bodice, blouse, or top, then to have erratic, lumpy, floppy, or - excuse the made up expression - nipply lines created by a bad bra choice (or no bra at all). As I said in Back to Basics, Pt. 1, “to put it simply, your underwear supports your outerwear. The wrong undergarments will ruin an outfit.”  Applying excellent knowledge of the basics makes the line and flow of your clothes a cinch to perfect, and that’s all there is to it. Let’s get started, shall we?

The pic above shows just a glimpse of the diversity within the category of the brassiere. (For more basic and helpful walkthrough of bra styles click here.) I’ve heard lots of jokes about taking a swing at the evil man who invented them, but they actually date back to ancient Greece or even farther, so they’ve been with us a long time. Currently, statistics show that 75 - 90% of women wear bras daily. It’s important to get this right! Here are some helpful tips to pair bras with clothes perfectly every time. You’ll be so delightfully gathered!

Step 1: Consider your boobs.

 Here is where we stop to take a look at ourselves. All nakey. In the mirror. (Hopefully you do this all the time. I do. It’s good for your self-esteem and self-acceptance. And you will be hotter because of it.) Now.... look at your boobs. What kind of bra will suppport, lift, and separate your girls? Are you small and round? Large and ripe? Medium-sized and conical? Your bras should fit your breasts themselves, and not every bra style is a win for every breast type. In other words, a smaller less round breast might benefit from a plunge or demi-cup style with padding (which will shape the breast and add a bit of volume while creating cleavage) , whereas a larger, fuller breast would benefit from a full coverage bra with less padding and fuller straps (which will support the breast and not add volume and not overflow the bra because larger breasts tend to need no cleavage help).

Note: if looking at your breasts fills you with confusion about what styles to buy and what looks good, seek professional help at your nearest quality boutique that sells a variety of brands and styles and does bra fittings. It’s not something easily explained in this format, and experts are experts for a reason.

Now that you have good bras styles that work well with your breasts and your closet is stocked with the right things...

Step 2: Consider your bodice

A bodice is the upper part of a woman’s dress, but for our purposes this will stand in for whatever clothing you’ve decided to wear to cover your top half, whether a tee, halter, blouse, button down, crop top, etc. You must look at this piece of clothing every day and decide which bra will work well underneath to support and enable that bodice to get its best look. That means paying attention to these factors :

• Neckline. (i.e. is it scooped, vee, boatneck) 

  • Pair any neckline with a bra that a) does not show above the neckline, b) does not show above the rise in the back, and c) does not created too much cleavage or bulging. This also applies to when sitting down and leaning over. Test this to be sure. Nothing worse than giving the pimply-face barista at starbucks a cheap thrill when leaning over to sign your receipt (<--- real life example!)

• Straps or Sleeves. (i.e. is it cap sleeved, off the shoulder, tank top, racerback, strapless)

  • This is the most common and easily identifiable issue with a bad bra choice. Visible, distracting bra straps. Endeavor to hide your bra straps completely by choosing a bra with the same strap configuration as your top. There are many bras that have changeable strap configurations for this reason. If all else fails, wear a strapless bra.

• Fabric type. (i.e. heavy cotton, drapey jersey, transparent chiffon)

  • When your bodice lays against you, can the impression of the bra or your nipples be seen? Take action against this! Try seamless bras or t-shirt bras to calm this effect under most generic tops. Use a camisole underneath a transparent top unless you are intentionally baring your bra. Don’t wear a textured lace pattern underneath a clingy fabric - it will show through.

• Color

  • There's nothing worse than getting everything else right and then the bra color or pattern shows through your clothes. Try again if this happens. It never looks good!

 

Use these tips to ensure that you’re always supported, lifted and separated under those lovely gathered clothes ladies!

Dating & Mating: How to dress on a first date

I'll let you in on a secret: I'm single. Yes, I know what you're thinking. "Not you Bree! How is this possible?!" I too have these same thoughts, lol. Regardless of the reasons, I have my freedom papers and am enjoying my new found singlehood, which includes many dates. Tempering that excitement is the anxiety of trying to figure out what to wear on a first date. So, I've decided to share my in-depth research and interesting findings.  After reading popular magazines, asking women and girlfriends... I then chucked that info. I figured I'd ask who mattered most- the types of men I wanted to date. Gathered men! So I'll share my findings about what creates the best impressions in gathered men's minds regarding first dates. Here are some general rules to follow:

• Don't dress for women, i.e. Super trendy, intimidating fashion (heel-less shoes, channeling your inner beyonce/lady gaga diva outfits). A good rule of thumb is: imagine or ask your girlfriend's reaction to your outfit when she first sees you. If she screams "Fierce! Work! Beat! Diva! or any other Zoolander terms- it's too much for a date. Good words are "super cute, pretty, beautiful, lovely, good/great, even "hot" is okay.
• Less is more: make-up should be simple and not complicated (no rainbow eye shadow). focus on one facial feature to enhance (lips- vs- eyes). You don't want red lips and dark smoky Cleopatra eyes.
• Grooming is everything. There's a reason Outkast made a whole song about being "So fresh and So Clean". Remember the small details: neat manicure and pedicure, arched eyebrows, moisturized skin, clean hair. Basic stuff. (also see Back to Basics Pt. 1 and 1.5)
• Take the sex appeal between a 6 and 7 on the sexy scale. A Zero would be a muu muu or shapeless jogging suit. A 10 would be a heavy cleavage, leg and thighs exposed, and form fitting to your hips and butt, thus showing all your lady lumps. You want intrigue and suggestion, not a huge red light district sign.
• Aim to show 40 percent of your body. Studies show this yields the most male reaction and attention. Again, the point is suggestion. A first date outfit is like a movie trailer. How, you ask? Well, everyone hates when a movie trailer shows too many action scenes or funny jokes. It makes the movie lose it's luster and you wonder if the movie has any substance beyond all the flashy spoilers. A man will still  try to see the movie, but he may wait for redbox instead of choosing the box office opening weekend $14 ticket. You are worth opening night behavior!
• Stay prepared (See 7 items for your clutch). Bring a jacket of some sort. You won't ever regret it. And if it's too hot, he can hold it for you. That's what gathered gentleman do.

Keep in mind that these are first date options, which are about impressions and set how he unconsciously thinks and behaves with you. Once you snag him as your exclusive man or husband, then you can go crazy and walk around in your muu muu or head to toe animal print catsuits! Just kidding, stay calm and dress gathered. Here are some examples of good date outfits:

Date Option 1:  Lunch date, Movie date, Casual Date

This look is perfect for dating in your 20's. Generally the tone of the date is casual, won't include active movement or sports, and may not cost big bucks. This look conveys femininity without pretentiousness. The dress can be in any color, and is flattering on most body types. The shoes have sex appeal without the intimidation or discomfort of a full on high heel. The purse can be easily carried  across the body if you take a scenic walk.

Date Option 2: Live music concert, Art walk or show 

 This look screams "I'm cool." Which you obviously are. The top is a sexy combination of leather and exposed decolletage. The jeans balance the top, but shows peeps of leg. The shrug is sheer. The suggestion factor is high on this outfit. The shoe is great for walking or standing long periods of time (thick heel, less than 3 inches, toes covered in case of concert misstep). 

Date option 3: Park Picnic, Flea Market, Beach, Outdoor activity

 Have I mentioned my love of rompers and playsuits? If I haven't let me shout if from the rooftops! They can be extremely versatile and stylish. They eliminate having to match pieces. The cuteness of a dress, with the flexibility of shorts. Le awesome. Men find these appealing because they have a youthful charm and show lots of leg. Make sure it's a good fit (not too tight or baggy) in order to keep the sexy in target zone. I paired this with a natural make-up like NARS orgasm blush and simple accessories. 

Date Option 4: Cocktail event, Fancy dinner date, Theatre

 These dresses are prime examples of the 40% law of attractiveness. Shoulder action combined with some leg display is ideal. I've tested this theory out many times, it works. Opting for a body conscious fit pushes it higher on the sex appeal scale, so covering cleavage is important. The middle look is a an awesome plus size choice. Make sure you use proper supportive undergarments to make these look flawless. Simple jewelry, strappy heels, and signature clutches make these looks chic and sexy. 

Do you have a first date that doesn't fit into these categories? Need help? Write us at thegatheredlady@gmail.com and we'll help you figure out great styling for a first date. Do you have pictures of your first date outfit that rocks? Email or tag us on facebook, twitter, or instagram @Thegatheredlady and if we like it, we'll share it!

Back to Basics, Pt. 1.5: Panty Pros vs. Panty Pas

A continuation of last week’s gathered panty primer brings us today’s installment, Back to Basics Pt. 1.5: Panty Pros vs. Panty Pas. What are panty pros? What are panty pas? Allow me to explain. And give examples. With pics!

A panty pro is a gathered method or technique employing the use of a panty to support, control, protect, enhance, or seduce.

A panty pas (pronounced panty “pah”, as in faux pas) is an ungathered failure to employ panty pro know-how, resulting in panty fails and various wardrobe malfunctions, i.e. panty lines, wedgies, bunching, rolling, sagging... fail, Fail, FAIL!

Observant fashionistas will be nodding their heads by now as they have seen panty pros and pas because it is very real out here in these streets in real life time and again. With caution, you can avoid this and be known for being a pro, not making faux pas! Here is a list of 6 panty pros to employ and panty pas to avoid. It’s a great list of dos and donts when making your underwear selection for an outfit.

1. Panty Pas: Visible Panty Lines  vs. Panty Pro: Invisible Panty Lines 

Horrors! Visible panty lines, or VPLs, show up when panties have been selected to go with a fabric that is more elastic or lighter weight (jersey, jersey knit, matte jersey, light cotton blend, some polyesters, etc.). The way the fabric of the clothing lies along the lines of the body showcases the imprint of your panties perfectly. Fight this! 

Obviously, we're looking for invisible panty lines, ones that contour to the body, are comfortable, and lend a little shaping to that rear end are ideal, but at the very least, panties shouldn't show. We want to give the world a chance to notice our world-class curves. See what I mean? 

2. Panty Pas: Whale Tail vs. Panty Pro: Panties invisible above the waistband!  No orcas or humpbacks in pants. 

Noooooo! This is the perfect storm of fashion fails comprised of:

1) The rise of your pants and the rise of your panties do not match.

2) Your jeans may be too small in the seat.

3) The cut of the pants don't flow with your curves.

4) You may need a belt to hold the pants at the correct point on your waist.

To combat this, wear hipster or other low rise panties, but first make sure that your pants fit by "sit testing" them when you try them on. Bottom line: no panty choice can help when sitting down gives you a case of plumber's butt. Avoid crack, ladies... it kills! Make excellent fashion your drug of choice like these fashionistas... 

 3. Panty Pas: Panties bunching above the waistband vs. Panty Pro: Panties invisible above the waistband.

This one is another case of rise being the issue. Granny panties can be useful under long flowy skirts or for that time of the month perhaps, but employ judgement about the rise of the pants or skirt you wear when you're going to wear higher rise panties like classic panties and control panties. 

4. Panty Pas: Color or pattern of panties visible through clothes vs. Panty Pro: panties invisible through clothes. 

 Under white or transparent fabrics, underwear can easily become a peepshow for pervs. Don't help them along by picking the wrong panties! 

1) DO NOT wear white underwear under white. It looks like you're waiting for the wet t-shirt contest to begin. And you're probably not. Instead, wear nude or black underwear. 

2) For super transparent fabrics, add layers by wearing a boyshort or slip. Again, choose nude or black. 

5. Panty Pas: Panties not supporting tummy or mid-section vs. Panty Pro: Panties supporting and controlling tummy

Um... I'm pretty sure that "lovely lady lumps" was mostly meant figuratively. What are you doing, accentuating the negative and downplaying the positive? Panties are a basic way to control and support some of those mid-section areas that does not include turning blue and fainting from holding your breath and "sucking in" like granny used to do. It's a no-brainer. Buy some control panties and higher rise types to pair with structured and tailored pieces. There's a whole world out there, and Spanx is only the beginning, although a favorite with a lot of gathered celebs.

6. Panty Pas: Wedgies, camel toes, moose knuckles and other uncomfortable nonsense vs. Panty Pro: Panties that fit!  

I know. You looked at this one, and said... panties that fit? Revolutionary. What a grand finale. But it really is, ya know? For some reason, many ladies buy their panties too small. I have no idea why they would do something like that besides vanity, but the truth is, no one knows what size undies you wear. If a pair shrinks, is stretched, or fails in some other way, it needs to be replaced. Gained some weight? Don't be afraid to march right into somebody's store and buy some bigger undies. It's just not worth the wedgie... or the camel toe... or whatever will plague you! Let your bottom be smooth and wedgie free.